On this fabulous Friday, let’s give good feedback. Without forgetting how to receive it.
Giving feedback is an art centered around the ability to communicate, receive, and constructively apply. A problem I have observed in communicating feedback is usually I only hear “positive vibes” – with little room for argument, debate, criticism, or disagreement – focusing more on trying to avoid confrontation than actual change.
So when I saw this brief but spectacular take on feedback by organizational psychologist Adam Grant. I felt immediately attached to the notion of feedback as a mechanism to argue or disagree with others not because you are trying to tear them or their project down – but rather the opposite.
I see criticism as the bedrock for change and am far more motivated by it than praise. I submit the notion that the best feedback includes some form of argument that is rooted in the notion that we seek the best for each other, are willing to admit our limitations, set our feelings aside, and express gratitude for time/work performed.
The three rules of argument that Adam Grant provides are good ones to follow:
- Argue like you are right, listen like you are wrong
- Argue to learn
- Acknowledge when your opponent has made a good point
Lastly, the COO of Facebook, Sheryl Sandberg is known for this advice for career success when asked, “What is the number one thing you look for in someone who can scale with a company?” Her reply…
“Someone who takes feedback well. Because people who can take feedback well are people who can learn and grow quickly.”